The Flirtatious Stylings of May Singer
by MindTeemings
Summary: What happens when May Singer and Astra Orders join forces-to get dates. The story of players, a newborn baby, a palace mystery, a newly formed Midwestern Republic, and a British boy.


When it came to boys, May Singer was nothing less than a connoisseur. She had memorized all the necessary flimflams, bamboozles, and various trick-shots you could realistically use to pick up teenage boys. (And girls. It depended on how she was feeling.)

She, of course, told few people. Not either of her older sisters, both of which would punish her severely. Her mother would have a panic attack, and her younger brother would simply tell on her. However, her "niece," Astra, at merely sixteen, was quite the player. And they would assist each other from time to time. May often took diplomatic trips along with her sister to France, Italy, and the newly reformed Damanche Republic, taking up a strip of land within Illéa long known as tornado alley. But Illéa got to keep Paloma, the large, almost cheese-shaped strip of land well known for the single lone star on its flag. Illéa always got to keep Paloma. Astra quite enjoyed these Diplomatic trips, predominantly because countries other than Illea were far more excepting, of, well, lesbianism.

You see, Astra had kissed a boy May had set her up with just a year prior to this one. Nothing happened. Long story short, the boy found out he liked boys, and Astra found out she liked girls. A much easier way to find out, May often joked, than marrying someone, having sex with them, and realizing you had an affection for a completely different gender.

The whole 'diplomatic' wing-woman thing came up when the two girls went to Scotland. Alone. Now, it was already a bad idea to unleash both of those girls on Scotland, but it was even worse idea to let them talk to people. So much french kissing went down that weekend that kissing May Singer was rumored to be good luck in Edinborough. So much for diplomacy. From then on, Astra got May the boys, and May got Astra the girls. And so it went for a long time.

Both girls were actually shocked to see that people in, say, France or England were much more lenient with the "Hey, this is my 'cousin' (they referred to each other as cousins); she's a lesbian" thing.

Most recently, a crazy weekend had earned Astra an emphasis on the first syllable of her name. Because she got ass, and she got a lot of it. (In Greece, at least.)

But the adventures of the players were soon to end, at least for a little while. Because _someone's _sister just had a baby, and May knew America wouldn't let her out of her sight for a while. A _long _while.

So much for Grecian boys...

Astra leaned into May's shoulder, groaning loudly while tightly grasping a bag of cashews. "I don't want to go home!" she moaned, shoving the lightly salted nuts into her mouth. The two were on a plane ride back from San Marino, Astra clearly feeling as if she were going back to Illea in chains. May giggled and reclined her chair.

"Same here," she nonchalantly commented, slipping on a sleeping mask, then folding her arms behind her neck as support for her head. "That reminds me, we should totally have elections. I'm addicted to political commentary shows." Astra roller her eyes. "What, they're funny! The best we have is a Selection every _lifetime. _Nobody's excited about it. Because our government is so simple, a bag of rocks could understand it."

"I guess you have a point," Astra responded. "But I'm probably going to miss the _chill. _It's like, I thought Europe was all uptight, 'cause they were the least involved in the World War, but then I _go _there, and I never want to go home again. How can any continent be that _cool? _It's not doing much for my esteem of the Americas, you know."

"Alright, kiddo, now let me sleep."

"No chance."

"Should've known better. Never mind."

—

Despite her best efforts, Astra collapsed. On the plane seat. Totally crashed. It took May fifteen minutes to wake her up, even pouring iced water on her face. _Somebody _had a good time last night. A _real _good time.

{If you know what I mean.}

Technically, since birth control was available abroad, you could hmmm-hmm over there. But you couldn't hmm hmm in Europe, have America Singer know about it, and get out unscathed. That was the tricky part. May and Astra developed a mutual bond throughout the last few years. Either of them did something slightly questionable, especially on the relationship side, and neither would tell America or Kenna about it. It worked quite well, and ever since Astra was 14, when she shot her first open firearm in a blurry haze at a shooting range in the Damanche Republic. Yet that didn't break the record for the least diplomatic trip of all time.

The least diplomatic trip of all time was when May accidentally ("accidentally") had a one-night stand with the elected representative of the newly independent Hong Kong. But to be fair, he was attractive. _Unbelievably attractive. _With these beautiful and oddly yellow-goldish eyes and glasses and the sweetest smile of any boy, _ever. _

In May's defense, how could you _not _have a one-night stand with the elected representative of Hong Kong?

But, Astra got points for the effort as well, as she introduced the two, stood guard to make sure no guards found out, and told a blatant white lie right when they got home, and everyone completely believed her. That was when May knew Astra was a friendship investment not taken lightly. The two had gone on insane trips together, gotten insane dates, and agreed on two things. 1) Illea should have political parties and elections because they're fun as HELL to watch in the remaining republics, however small they may be and 2) Wing-women are the BOMB.

Quite literally, I might add as the two dabbled just a bit in mystery solving, and had successfully found and disabled every explosive planted in the palace within the last two years. If anything was the bomb, it was wing-womanship.


End file.
